Sergeant Waktout needs your help to solve a LiTTLe PRoBLeM…

Sergeant Quinn “Beans” Waktout was an average Joe once…  before his discharge from the service for Gulf War Illness.  That was back before the government admitted to such a disease, back when he was just called “crazy.”  Well, he wasn’t crazy then–but he sure as hell is now!

 

Help Beans Waktout unearth more of the world’s conniving cover-ups.  Only through a massive group effort by dedicated nutjobs like yourselves will he finally be able to obtain enough raw intel to solve the ultimate riddle, the one conspiracy plaguing him and all the other poor obsessed slobs like him–the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory! 

Perhaps then he can find peace at last. 

Or at least move out from under that bridge in Toledo. 

Or at least afford to buy a larger box to live in under the bridge. 

 

Matt Cates

www.catesbury.com

Comment and Add your own Conspiracy of the Day below

THEOLOGICAL

God has seen every episode of Smallville, Seasons 1 thru 7.  He personally never liked Clark and Lana as a couple.

SEXUAL

SCIENCE/TECH

Doritos are naturally orange, but they would prefer you to believe they use a complex mix of chemical ingredients to get them that way.  Really, they don’t.

PERSONALITIES

Wolverine has a seventh adamantium claw. 

It comes out of his weiner.

PARANORMAL

There’s no such thing as a glitch in any Microsoft operating system.  There are, however, numerous ghosts who are addicted to porn and who sneak onto your PC at night and cause it to download all sorts of crazy viruses, which in turn give you all those error pop-ups when all you’re trying to do if format a Word document.

MILITARY

MEDICAL